Tuesday, October 6, 2009
On My Way Home...
Wow - I really couldn't have come across Amy's @ Finer Things Mommy Come Home series at a more appropriate time. Several months ago my husband and I decided that it was time for me to "come home". We went back and forth as to when that time would/should/could come, finally making a decision. I am officially coming home October 16th, that is my last day at my current place of employment.
The decision for me to stay home really wasn't hard for my husband, he has been wanting me to quit for awhile, however, I do the bills and budget, so at first I was plain ole scared to not have my income... me of so little faith.
Then my next hurdle was just getting over guilt... the guilt of not being wonder woman. I mean, I couldn't figure out why I couldn't get it all done, keep it all together, be suzy homemaker in the evenings and weekends plus hold my 40 hour a week job too!!! Other woman do and do it well, at least that is how it appears. Honestly, I even went to the dr. thinking that maybe I was ADD - I mean there has to be a reason why I couldn't do it all, right? Guess what, I am not ADD. His diagnosis? I have IthinkIcandoitallwonderwoman"itis".
In laymans terms.. I have too much on my plate, working full time, trying maintain an orderly household, while raising four young children, on top of the fact that my husband and I work opposite shifts, (some days we only communicate over the phone - not good for a marriage). He actually suggested that I find a way to cut down on my time away from home. Him telling me that, really helped me get over the guilt of not being able to do it all - I mean afterall, he did go to school for at least eight years, he has to know what he is talking about....right?
So here it is, I have my husband's support ( I am so thankful for that), I have been able to work through the guilt and the discovery with acceptance that I really am only human. So then I prayed and prayed - however, I do recommend that everyone else do this first, I so could have easily skipped all of the above had I done this first. I know that for us to survive on just one income, we will need the Lord's blessing on every.single.penny. that comes into our hands. I am thankful to say that even though next month we will see for the first time a huge cut in the income that will be coming in, I have such peace. I know that we will be alright. I am learning the ropes of cutting expenses, I already love to coupon and am getting really good about deal finding. But you know what the coolest thing is? I am discovering that we are not alone, I have found so many other families / moms, who have chosen the same path that we/I have because that is what is best for our families, for our marriages, for our children, for us. I am so thankful for this blogging community, I have learned so much from reading those who are already home, their tips, advice, etc. As I learn, I will share too.
Whenever I feel any doubt or worry come over me, I am reminded of Matt. 6:26
"Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than them?
And finally, the best confirmation one could ever ask for came the day we decided to tell our children our plan... the look and excitment that came over them was like we had just told them it was Christmas... priceless.. Mommy is coming home!